Hlf Ov

This here is Hlf Ov (pronounced "Half Off" with whatever accent you please), the scaly bison-headed god of (excellent and affordable) surf and turf dinners. He was spawned from [link] getting sillier than I planned (it always happens). I am ashamed to say that he reminds me of Ralphie. It must be the tail.
Anyhoo.
Though initial appearances may suggest that he would smell like a sweaty mammal crossed with a rotting fish, he actually smells vaguely of leather, dried seaweed, and most importantly a madeira and caramelized shallot sauce. As the god of surf and turf dinners, it is his job to oversee the making of the perfect steak, to reduce the chance of food poisoning with the use of safe kitchen practices and the occasionally microscopic thunderbolt to smite the bad bacterium, he can eliminate mercury contamination in seafood (though he highly encourages you to find sustainably gathered sources for the surf half of the surf and turf), and he is gifted with the ability to find a good wine to pair with any meal.
He’s fond of candle-lit dinners, romantic music, the beach (or anywhere where the land meets water), and large portion sizes. Very little can terrify him more than a block of tofu and he has a special distaste for vegetarians (don’t even mention vegans to him, he doesn’t believe in them).

Watercolors, colored inks, copic markers, colored pencils, and whatnot.